omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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