your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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