So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
