She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
