Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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