i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
