He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
