I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
