I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
