So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
