I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
