Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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