I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
