It's a beautiful day for a hangover
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
