Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
