Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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