Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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