Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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