And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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