all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
