he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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