You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
