where am i from again
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Randomize
