Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
