Betty ford says i'm here all night
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
