just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
