My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
only if we run a train.
done.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
