Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
