there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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