I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
