Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
