You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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