just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
