her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
