me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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