Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
