I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
