I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i barfeds in our rink
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
