Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
