Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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