there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
