Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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