this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
