He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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