I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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