Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
