i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
