I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
