Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
