The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
