come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
